ZZZZombies!
by Xenexian
Summary: Zombies are on the loose in Old Hill, and it's up to Lozz, Ash and Lizzy to save everyone. Humorous, mentions of offensive phrases. R&R our own stuff!
1. Prologue

**A/N:**** Okies! 8th fanfic! But this isn't just written by me... I've roped in one of my favourite persons in the world of awsomeness to co-write!!! Her name is Ashleigh.... **

**ninja-marshmellows-r-attaking says::**** This is something we threw together, really shows our humorous side :) and I hope youu enjoy it as much as we enjoyed writing it!!!**

_Prologue_

**Lozz POV**

I was petrified, but we were awsome! Lizzy was putting down those damned Zombies quicker than a fly swatter in the hands of Edward Cullen with her earphone nunchucks, and Ashh was brilliantly beating them down with the pitchfork that she had stolen off me earlier. I was currently battering one of the undead over the top of the head with an extraordinarilly hard bagguette.

What was really mad was that this all seemed like something out of an _Eddsworld_ movie. Me and Ashh love _Eddsworld_! But, I mean, I'm a right coward, no matter how this random act of bravery may portray me, so don't you go getting any ideas!

We were outnumbered twenty to one, and a zombie was coming up behind Lizzy mumbling a single word:

"Brraaaaiiinss...."

**A/N:**** Okay, short chapter,but this is only the prologue! We're gonne try and update asap, but we want at least 5 reviews before we post up chapter one!**


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N:**** Herro, readers! We're back for chapter one!!! ninja-marshmellows-r-attacking's computer has broken, so we have a slight change of plans: Lizzy is to write chapter one for us. **

**EnterMyHumbleAbode:: ****I'd Just Like To Say Hello To You All On FanFiction. This Is My First Bit Of Writing On Here, So It Probably Won't Be Too Good. As Lauren Said, Ashleigh's Computer Has Broken, And So She Has Lost What She Wrote For Chapter One. Hope You Like!!**

* * *

**CHAPTER ONE**

_**Lizzy POV**_

I was sitting in my chair, feet on the table with my Heat magazine and my earphones in. _'Bad Romance'_ was turned down low volume-wise, and my two bestest friends in the whole wide world, Ashh and Lozz, were sitting next to me, reading.

Gods, english was the worst lesson EVER. Our teacher, Miss Simmons, was sooo fat, you couldn't see the elastic on her skirt. She had short caramel-coloured hair and a weird sense of humor.

Ashh turned to Lozz. "I'm sooo bored," she muttered. Lozz looked up from the book we were supposed to be reading.

"Yeah, me too. There is only about one more minute of the lesson left, though." she whispered back. I saw them both turn to me and glare. Why, oh why, do they _always_ subject me to The Look?

"What?" I whispered at them. They both rolled their eyes as the teacher looked up.

"Oi! You three - get back to work!" she shouted. We all looked at eachother, and then went back to reading: Lozz and Ashh the book, me my magazine. Just a few scarce seconds later, the bell rings to signify the end of the lesson, and the start of lunch.

"WOOOOOOOOO!" Ashh exclaimed, jumping out of her chair, hands in the air. Everyone stared at her, and she turned a bright shade of pink. "Sorry, miss."

"Okay, see you all next week, guys." miss Simmons said, dismissing us. Ashh and Lozz stood up and grabbed their bags. Ashh paused, turned back and tapped me on the back.

"What?"

"Lunch, Lizzy. You know... Food. To eat." Ashh explained in a very loud, slow voice.

"Oooh..." I said, getting up and following them both out.

* * *

**A/N:**** All three of us hope you enjoyed chapter one, finally out XD. **

**Review, please!!!**


	3. Chapter 2

**LozzT-In-Time says:**** I switched on my PC today to find that Ashh had emailed me chapter 2 which is AWSOME!!! We want reviews, because reviews sparkle and they make us happy. Very happy. Very happy indeedy!!!**

**ninja-marshmellows-r-attacking says:**** I'm really sorry for not writing chapter one like I was supposed to, curse my damn laptop! Hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**EnterMyHumbleAbode says:****Well, We're Back Again. We Hope You Like Ashleigh's Chapter!!! **

**Disclaimer:We do not own Twilight (which is mentioned in both the prologue and this chapter) or Pizza GoGo (which is also mentioned in this chapter) unfortunately.**

**CHAPTER TWO**

_**Ashh POV**_

We stood all stood up and made a dash for the door, but by the time we were out of that dingy classroom, the halls were full of students. Swerving left and right, trying not to hit anyone walking the opposite way proved to be difficult. Lizzy, now reading her magazine again, crashed into several people, along with a few teachers.

By the time we had reached the stairs, the crowd of people In the halls had vanished.

"Well, I can't wait to get my hands on some pizza!'' Lozz exclaimed, rubbing her hands together.

I rolled my eyes "Lozz, you always want pizza. You'd eat it for breakfast if you had the chance!'' She laughed and began to skipped down the stairs, very much like an excited five year old in a toy store. When she got to the bottom three stairs, she jumped, clearing all of them and landing neatly on her feet. Turning back, she shouted ''Hurry up Lizzy!'' who was still standing on the top step.

As I came to the last handful of stairs, I tried to do the same as Lozz, but this jump had a very different outcome; as I leaped, I tipped over my bag and fell flat on my face. I groaned when I reached the floor, twisting and turning in pain.

Seconds later, Lozz looked back. "Lizzy , watch...'' But her sentence what cut off there when Lizzy tripped over me, still rolling in pain on the floor.

"Watch where you're going!'' she shouted, before picking herself up and strutting to the door. I stood up moments later and brushed myself down before jogging to catch up to my two friends, who were both eager to get some lunch.

We walked for five minutes before reaching Old Hill. I scanned down this usually busy road only to see no-one was there. Not person or car in sight.

"Ooh, no queues!" Lizzy cried in shock.

Me and Lozz turned out head to face each other. We whipped out our fingers and pointed towards the pizza shop

"PIZZA!" we yelled simultaneously from the top of out lungs. She ran faster than Edward Cullen playing baseball towards the shop clearly marked 'Pizza GoGo.'

* * *

**A/N:**** So review this awsome chappie, and ask for more! There is more to come soon!!!**


	4. Chapter 3

**LozzT-In-Time says:**** Soo... This is supposed to be a long scene judging by our script, and I'm keeping it long, hopefully. Thanks, X-Addict-Olivia-X for editing chapter 2, there was such a commotion with the Facebook thing (Calling Lauren Anne Tolley and Ashleigh Hackett IMMEDIATELY!!!) lol.**

**ninja-marshmellows-r-attacking says:**** Gell , great. Lauren gets the good chapter.. but still enjoy**

**EnterMyHumbleAbode says:**** Uh Oh *Gulps*. My Turn Next Again Haha. Hope You Like This Chapter.**

**Disclaimer:**** We own everything, especially ourselves in this fic. Well, apart from Pizza GoGo. We don't own that. Or the newsagents. Pah.**

**CHAPTER THREE**

_**Lozz POV**_

I ran as fast as I possibly could towards Pizza GoGo, with Ashh just a metre or two behind me. we were yelling so loudly, I couldn't think straight.

"PIZZA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

We skidded into Pizza GoGo around thirty secods after we started running, looking all around us for the man that usually stood behind the counter. He was gone. But the pizza's were piled up to the ceiling, almost, and there was no-one there to see anything.

"Lozz, do you realise what this means?" Ashh asked me, her face all lit up. I frowned.

"No..."

"FREE PIZZA!!!" she screamed, jumping behind the counter. She grabbed a pizza and ate it quickly. I mirrored her, while Lizzy walked in absently, listening to music and reading her Heat magazine. Again.

There was a groaning noise, all deep and gutteral, and I stared at Ashh until she threw a piece of pizza at me.

"It isn't me, idiot!" she said, and we both turned to look at the window; a green face with bright red eyes, decaying flesh and only a few teeth was pressed up against the glass, while others that looked like it were moving around behind it. Ashh and I both put pizzas in front of our faces to hide us, and crouched behind the counter. Ashh looked at me, eyes wide, and i grabbed Lizzy's arm, pulling her down beside us.

"What?!" she asked. Ashh pointed towards the window, and when Lizzy turned back to face us, her skin was as white as paper.

----------------------------------5 minutes later----------------------------------

Ashh poked me hard with her elbow. It really hurt, and I rubbed my side; my skin isn't as hard as a Twilight vampire's! "Lozz!" she whispered. "Go see if it's still there!"

"Why me?!" I hissed back, outraged. "Why not blondey over there? She's dumb enough to do it!"

Lizzy narrowed her eyes at us, flipping her long blonde hair over her shoulder. "Fine. I'll do it." She poked a hole through the base of her pizza (which we were all still hiding behind) and looked through it. "It's gone, Ashh. Lozz, it's safe... I think." she breathed.

"Yeah, and we all know what happens when _you_ think..." I muttered sarcastically. Lizzy glared at me murderously.

"Okay, guys, lets go; there's no pizza left." Ashh said loudly, intervening before Lizzy could hit me over the head with her pizza repeatedly. We all jumped over the counter, karate style, and ran out of the little orange and white shop.

"Where shall we go now?" Lizzy asked, studiously ignoring me. I turned to face Ashh, and smiles spread across both our faces slowly. We pointed our index fingers in the air, and cried-

"TO THE NEWSAGENTS!"

We ran off towards the off license that was just around the corner, with Lozzy trailing behind us.

"Oooh, I wonder if they have this weeks Heat....?" she said airlily, soon speeding up to catch us up.

* * *

**A/N:**** We hope you like! This is where the action REALLY starts!!! Review pleases!**


	5. Chapter 4

**EnterMyHumbleAbode says:**** So Hey Guys. Sorry It's Took So Long To Get Written Up! Here Is Chapter 4!**

**LozzT-In-Time says:**** Yeah, Ashleigh's turn next then me! Hope you like this chappie!**

**ninja_marshmellows_r_attacking says:****sowwie its abit late :) we had to get it off lizzy . hope you enjoy!! **

**CHAPTER FOUR**

_**Lizzy POV**_

We rushed into the newsagents, gigantic shelves of everything towering over our heads. I looked around me, amazed by how much stuff could fit into one single shop, and didn't really notice the man standing behind the counter.

"Hello there dear sir, do you possibly have this week's eddition of Heat Magazine?" I asked politely, searching all around me for the Mag.

"Uuuughehzhhhhhhhaaa....." the man behind the counter drawled. I pulled an earphone out of my ear and leaned closer to him.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, but..." Suddenly, a new song errupted into my head from my iPod and I sang along with it. "... I can't speak French, so allow the funky music do the talking, talking now, oh, I can't speak Fren-"

"Lizzy, watch out!" Lozz cried from behind me. I looked up finally and saw a 6 foot green hunk of decaying flesh getting ready to eat my brains and my tresured earphones and I screamed as loudly as I possibly could. It stopped moving towards me and looked as if confused, then let out a deafening roar of it's own.

"BRAINNNNSSSS!!!!"

Ashh, Lozz and I all ran out of the shop and into the street; I looked behind me to see the Zombie shopkeeper had been cut in half by a handy bit of barbed wire hanging from a building next to it. We stopped and caught our breath, hands on knees, scared stiff. I was just about right again when Lozz screamed.

"What NOW?!" I shouted, really annoyed. Couldn't a girl breathe in peace? She pointed a shaking finger at the Zombies that were now all around us.

"Oh, great," Ashh muttered.

* * *

**A/N:**** So, this is really short, but we think it's awesome! Review please!**


	6. Chapter 5

**EnterMyHumbleAbode says:**** Yup. She's Beaten Me In All Areas: Length, Style And Funnyness. Gah. But It Is Really Good!**

**LozzT-In-Time says:**** I love this chapter! It's amazingly written and action-packed but really funny too!**

**ninja_marshmellows_r_attacking says:**** I HAVE MY LAPTOP BACK! Hurayyy! So I am now able to write chapter 5 :) So here it is, hope you enjoy!**

**CHAPTER FIVE**

_**Ashh POV**_

So, there we stood, on a high street full of zombies. All I could do was stand, frozen in my place. My two friends were also still, like stone figures in the middle of the road. The scent of our flesh and blood must have been appealing to our unwanted guests, as masses of the undead started to come (at a very slow pace I may add) towards us.

A long moment later, the decaying humans were still not within striking distance.''Oh, come on! we could walk away from these things!'' I screamed, starting to get a little inpatient. Lizzy and Lozz simultaneously turned there heads and looked at me in disgust.

''What?'' I said , raising my eye brow ''Look, if I turn around and walk...''

Lizzy cut me off there, she was facing the other way and pointed. When I turned around I saw hundreds of zombies just standing, looking at our terrified faces.

''Oh man.'' I stuttered. Lozz raised one arm and pointed her index finger in the air.

''Back to the newsagents!'' she screamed, in the same tone she always does when standing in that quickly turned and sprinted to the shop over the road. Swerving in-between the living dead as we ran.

Once we were inside, we barricaded the windows with the shelves, stacked high with tinned food. We were just about finished when quiet mumbles where heard behind us: ''Brains...'' it stuttered in a emotionless tone. We turned around and gasped at the creature before us. Panicking, I picked up a can of tango and threw it at the decaying shopkeepers head. He dropped to the ground within seconds ''You've just been tangoed! '' I screamed , with a grin spread across my face. Lozz started to laugh whilst kicking the shopkeeper around the floor.

''Damn it Ash! That was the only can of tango in the whole shop, and you wasted it!'' Lizzy screamed. Lozz left the shopkeeper and walked calmly towards our aggravated friend. she stopped 20cm away from her and raised one hand slowly, showing no emotion, she slapped Lizzy with a lot of force.

''Shut up! Were surrounded by zombies that are hungry for our flesh and all you can think about is DAMN POP!'' she screamed, anger now filling her face. Lizzy and Lozz were locked in each others deathly stares. I stepped forward and pushed the two apart.

''Look, grab something to use as a weapon. Were getting out of here.'' I said. I tried to sound in control and calm but my hands were shaking, giving away my true emotion.

We split up and searched the shop; I found a paper weight and an inflatable hammer. I stood there for a moment weighing up the pros and cons of each item when Lozz walked through the door holding a pitchfork from out back

''Hey! That's not fair! I have a inflatable hammer and you have a pitchfork! Go and change it now!''

She let out a sigh, then threw the pitchfork behind her and headed for a different isle. Once she was gone, I picked up the gardening tool: another grin flashed across my face.

''Mwahaha!! '' I cried in an evil tone .

''You've took my pitchfork haven't you ?'' Lozz said from two isles down.

''How did you know!'' I said in a low voice , surely she couldn't of heard that.

'' I know everything.'' she replied.

A few minutes later we all gathered at the door of the shop.

''So were all ready to attack '' I said and the two girls nodded once ''OK, I've got my pitch fork, thank you Lozz '' I smiled and Lozz glared at me ''Lizzy you have your … earphones ?''

Her smile reached her eyes. ''Yep, and a rolled up mag!'' I sighed and held my eyes shut with my thumb and index finer, staying in that position as I asked Lozz: ''And what have you got then ?''

''A baguette '' she replied

''Right..'' I trailed off ''So you plan to make the zombies a sandwich? Great.''

She glared and swung for the back of my head with her baguette. It was like someone threw a house brick at me. I fell to the floor in an instant. The next thing I remember, I was sitting up against a shelf full of tinned pet food, the rims starting to hurt my back a little. Lozz was laughing and Lizzy was sitting listening to music.

''OK, Lozz I take it back, that is a good weapon. Just don't knock me out again.'' I murmured whilst getting back on my feet, rubbing the place where the baguette had hit my head. ''Lets go.''

I swung the door open and took a step outside , the zombies turned there heads slowly before stumbling towards us. '' charge! '' I cried as the three of us ran out into the crowd of the undead.

Lizzy swung round her earphones faster than a ninja in the moves, zombies were falling left, right and centre.

Lozz stood in one place, hitting the zombies heads like she was playing baseball with the Cullens.

My face dropped, once I cleared a small space around myself with the stolen pitchfork I could see a zombie sneaking up on Lozz '' Lozz turn around !'' I screamed. As she turned she swung her baguette. The zombie fell to the ground within seconds.

* * *

**A/N:**** So, here we go again! Just a couple more chapters to go and then we'll think about writing up a sequel - a fanfic version of our Episode Two script: We Have Crabs!!! So review and tell us what you think!**


	7. Chapter 6

**EnterMyHumbleAbode says: I'm Totally Gonna Miss This Fic!**

**LozzT-In-Time says: It's really funny, but I'm really going to miss writing ZZZZombies! It's our baby in ficlet version XD. There are loads of endings that could have been, but this one stoo out. Enjoy!**

**ninja_marshmellows_r_attacking says: so here we are! the end of our story :') i hope you have all enjoed readin it as much as i have writing**

**CHAPTER SIX**

**_Lozz POV_**

I watched as the Zombie fell to the ground, as if in slow motion, and then turned around and whacked another one with my super-hard bread.

"LIZZY!" I shouted, eyeing a Zombie shuffling towards her. She turned her head towards me, her hair swinging around and hitting the Zombie in the face, sending it crashing to the ground.

"What?"

"Oh, um... Never mind!" I called back. Ashh spiked the last Zombie with the pitchfork that had once been mine and we all just stood there for a second, as still as the Cullens when stressed, and breathed heavilly. I cast my eyes around us, surveying the damage.

There were bodies everywhere, the green skin and flesh that had once been held together with clothing was scattered around the road like slime. My baguette was still whole, amazingly, if not a little dented. I had a long cut on my arm that was throbbing and there was a small amount of blood dripping down Ashh's face from a wound on her head. Lizzy's clothes were a little torn and were smeared with green goop from the Zombie's she had battered apart. We all rushed forward at the same time, engulfing eachother with a group hug.

"We're alive! We're alive! We're alive!" I chanted, waving my baguette in the air. We all cheered and then broke apart and headed towards the wall. When we got there, we all sat down. I took a tissue out of my bag and started to wipe the flesh off the end of my baguette.

"Anyone want a sandwich?" I asked jokingly.

Ashh hitched a disgusted look onto her face and Lizzy said "No, thank you. I have a better idea,"

And with that, she hopped off the wall and walked over to the Seawave Chippy. A few minutes later, she came back with an expertly wrapped bag of fish, chips and curry sauce.

"Wow," remarked Ashh, impressed. "When did you learn to wrap up chips so neatly?"

"Oh, I didn't it was the dude in the chip shop." Lizzy answered brightly. All our faces fell, horrified, as another Zombie stumbled out of the shop, a dirty, grease-stained apron on and a potato in one hand, a spatula in the other. Before Lizzy or I could react, Ashh stood up and threw the pitchfork perfectly, like an expert Javelin-thrower, and we watched as it pierced his head and he fell to the ground.

"Now, where were we?" she asked politely, reaching over and taking a handfull of chips. I regained composure quickly and said the five words I'd been wanting to say since I first saw The Terminator:

"Our work here is done."


End file.
